Written for Undolus
So you are single. That doesn’t mean you have to cry in your flannel pyjamas or become the crazy cat lady. Although Hollywood and Disney like to portray that real happiness comes from finding your soul mate, studies are showing that is simply not true. First of all, you are not alone, according to the Bureau of Labor Statists in 2014, 50.2% of America’s adult population was single. With more and more people waiting longer in life to get married, or choosing to skip marriage altogether a significant amount of research is being done on the effects of being single. As it turns out, there are a lot of reasons why being single is pretty awesome and also ideal for health and happiness.
Single = Successful
When you are single, you do not feel guilty about the amount of time you spend working. You can focus on building your career and forging ahead and don’t have to answer to anyone for the extra time you are spending at work. It will also be easier for you to accept a great job opportunity that requires you to move. When you don’t have to factor in your partner leaving their job for you to follow yours, it allows you the freedom to put your career first. Sometimes the job that is best for you does not pay the best. When you are single, you can accept the job that you want over the one that offers the most financial security. Thus, allowing you to follow your career goals without feeling guilty about contributing to your share of the financial burden.
Although many of us do enjoy a good cuddle session, when it comes to getting a restful nights sleep, we do it better alone. Sleep studies that measure brain-wave activity or body movement have shown that sharing a bed results in worse sleep quality compared to sleeping alone. When you have a good night’s sleep you are more productive, focused, happier, have more energy and are more likely to live a healthier lifestyle. Sleeping alone allows you to get the rest you need to be the best version of you. Honestly, who doesn’t feel better after a good night of star fishing?
Single people tend to be more self-reliant. You have to do everything on your own, so you know how to do it. It forces you to be responsible for your happiness. Invest the time to discover what your passions are. Experience crazy new restaurants, try the latest workout trend, test your hand at glass art, see what you value most while travelling and take a trip on your own. According to Psychology Today “solitude gives you an opportunity to discover yourself and find your own voice.” When you are strong, comfortable and confident single you will be incredibly aware of what makes you happy in any of your future relationships, especially romantic ones. Dr Bella DePaulo a project scientist at the University of California, Santa Barbara agrees;
“One of the risks of being in a close romantic relationship is that your sense of self can get merged with your partner’s, to the extent that you could lose sight of who you really are.”
Being single allows you the space and time to figure out what makes you happy. Just you. You are never going to be truly happy with someone else until you first learn what makes you happy solo.
Single people tend to be more conscious of their health than married people. According to a 2013 study in the Journal of Health Psychology ,couples tend to gain weight in the first four years after getting married. It seems that single people also spend more time working out. A study by Loughborough University, commissioned by the Department of Health in the UK, found that in those who did not meet the recommended amount of exercise 76% of men and 63% of women were married. It may be that single people have more time to devote to their health, or that married people don’t feel guilty skipping the gym when their partner skips it too. Perhaps single folk are more conscious of their appearance. Whatever the reason you can thank your single status for your healthy life.
Instead of focusing all of their stamina on growing and strengthening a marriage, single people have the time to create and cultivate stronger, more meaningful relationships with friends and family. They tend to have more time and energy to offer to the other people in their lives. At the same time, instead of relying on only one person for emotional support, singletons tend to get guidance and encouragement from multiple outlets, thus strengthening the bonds of these relationships. Individuals who are part of a couple can manage to let the other relationships in their life falter which is not only bad for their emotional health but affects their physical health as well. According to a recent study on social relationships, people with fewer close friends were 50 percent more likely to die within the seven and a half years after the study, regardless of age. Dedicating the time to build and nurture all of the relationships in your life may be one of the healthiest decisions you can make.
There is no doubt that by being a single person you will have to be stronger and more resilient as society catches up to the fact that people can be happy single. You will have to answer the question “why are you still single?” repeatedly, but at least now you are armed with some pretty impressive facts to back up your stance. No one is suggesting that you have to stay single forever or that while you are single, you shouldn’t want to find love. The key is being happy with yourself and not needing or relying on someone else for your happiness. Once you find your happiness, you will have a stronger foundation to build your relationship; ensuring that they are not the key to your happiness, but an awesome bonus to an already rocking life.
Please visit Undolus for an amazing community of strong, supportive, single women.